A step-by-step guide to help you focus on what matters.

Hey mama! Congratulations on your beautiful blessing(s)! This season of life brings so much joy and excitement, but unfortunately is often accompanied by stress and overwhelm. There is a lot of unknown in the journey of motherhood, especially if this is your first baby, and that is a worrisome place to be sometimes.

 My heart for this guide is not to solve all your problems and guarantee a stress-free motherhood experience. I wish it were that easy, but no matter how long or where you search; you won’t find the perfect handbook to your pregnancy, birth or postpartum experience. Why? Because every woman is different. Our bodies, our values, our knowledge, our capacities are all different. The way we each mother our children is different. As it should be, the way we were created.

So why did I make this guide? I made this guide to give you a practical foundation for where to begin. The end result will be different for everyone, but feeling equipped to start planning and preparing is important. Having the tools to properly prepare physically, mentally and emotionally, as best you know how, are key to a pregnancy, birth and postpartum experience that leaves you feeling supported and at peace, no matter the outcome.

I know that it is in our nature to begin to research, plan and go crazy with online searches until all hours of the night with all the “what ifs” and questions you have about this new journey. I know that will happen regardless of this guide or not.. That’s ok! But my hope is that rather than searching all over Instagram, Google and Facebook, you can get simple quality information, all in one place, to help guide you and point you in the right direction. I also don’t want this to be a dead end. If what you read and try in these guides isn’t quite addressing the situation you are facing, I have given you further resources and next steps to make sure you can get the support you need.

Take this guide and use it as a reference throughout your planning and preparing. In the back is a checklist for you to use if needed. Take this one step at a time and allow yourself lots of time to breath. Babies are a lot to balance, and you must allow yourself times to rest.

There are 3 sections with simple bullet points to lead you in the right direction for whichever pregnancy, birth and postpartum experience your heart is hoping for. We can’t expect everything to go as planned, but we can give ourselves the gift of knowledge and preparedness. The final section is direction on healthy steps to take if something unexpected or undesirable arises. Sometimes life brings things we can’t plan for, but preparing ourselves to face these things from a place of peace is important.

Don’t forget to find the beauty in this journey, there is a lot to discover!

Pregnancy Planning – 1st Trimester

You are pregnant! Congratulations! Now what?

The most important thing if you are feeling overwhelmed: Take things ONE step at a time.

Don’t try to take on several different tasks and try to complete them all in one day or weekend. If you just found out you are pregnant, the only major things you need to be focusing right now are:

Quality, restful sleep

Nourishing your body and baby

Deciding on the type of birth you would like

Finding a care provider you trust

Prenatal testing options

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Quality, restful sleep. This will look different than your pre-pregnancy sleep. It could be napping each day, taking time to sit down and relax more than you have in the past, a bath in the evening, etc. It is very normal to feel fatigued and very tired during this time, so listen to your body.

Nourishing food. Finding a Prenatal vitamin to begin taking is important at this point, if you are not already on one. Sprouts or other health food stores will have great options for you. You can also find specific suggestions in my free Resource Guide as well.

Many mothers can experience nausea or sickness of some kind during their pregnancy journey, often in the 1st trimester. If this is a part of your journey, don’t force yourself to eat a giant meal that is not appetizing. Small, frequent meals can be really helpful.

A nourishing meal or snack in the first trimester can look like:

• whole grain toast with a nut butter or banana slices

• hardboiled egg with avocado on the side

• crackers with hummus or Greek yogurt dip

• smoothie with fruits and veggies

• tortilla roll up with fresh turkey or chicken, lettuce or spinach and hummus or other favorite dip/sauce

Decide what kind of birth experience you would like. You can have your baby in a hospital, or for low-risk pregnancies, a home birth or a birth center is also an option. My suggestion would be for you to read up on all the options and decide which looks like the best option for you. If you are interested in home birth or a birth center, you can check out my free guide for FAQs and info on the two types of birth spaces.

 A few things for quick consideration:

Hospital births allow you pain medication and medicalized/assisted options for delivery.

Birth centers are often run by certified nurse midwives. The options for pain management are often natural and holistic approaches. Midwives are highly trained professionals and are equipped to handle a wide range of situations. They monitor you closely and if a special situation arises, majority of the time they are able to transfer you to a hospital before a last-minute emergency happens.

Home births are attended by either certified nurse midwives or certified professional midwives. They are also well equipped to handle a wide range of birth possibilities. Pain management techniques are often natural and holistic approaches as well.

Finding a care provider who you trust. This could be a midwife or OBGYN. I want to emphasize the “who you trust” part. If you have an appointment or interaction with a care provider who causes you stress, doesn’t take time to answer your questions or doesn’t address any concerns you may have, I suggest finding another provider. You should not feel rushed or unheard.

This is also a great time to get in contact with your insurance provider to find out what is covered under your plan. Your care provider will also need proof of insurance at your first appointment, if they take insurance (Some homebirth midwives do not).

A great place to start is asking some of your friends who have recently had children of their own, for recommendations. Do they have a care provider they love? Is there one they have had a bad experience with? This can help point you in the right direction.

If you don’t have others around you to ask, start by doing a search online of providers near you that meet your criteria (Midwife, OBGYN or birth center). Dive into their websites and see what impressions you get. Any red flags? If not, give them a call or head into the office and check it out. Ask questions like:

• If you are hoping for a natural birth, ask what their stance is on those options and what do they provide to help support you in this?

• What do you get to have a say in? What tests, ultrasounds and other procedures are required during a pregnancy journey here and which ones are optional?

• Will my provider be the one to deliver my baby or will it be whoever is on call? If it is an on call provider, will I get to meet them ahead of time?

The first trimester, especially the in the beginning, does not need to be bogged down with what to buy for the baby, starting a registry or building a nursery. Start by resting and establishing a routine to take care of your body. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, try jotting down your thoughts or “things to remember” in a notebook to get them off your mind. You won’t forget them this way if the things you want to circle back to are written down and you can let them go from your mind for a bit.

Something to keep in mind during this pregnancy: there are going to be a lot of opinions, comments and pieces of “advice” coming at you. Often this is from family and friends who mean it all with the best of intentions!

You will be faced with questions from your provider, regarding decisions to be made and choices/options for your pregnancy and birth. If you were to take one thing away from this guide, let it be this: don’t make rash decisions, and don’t feel pressured to respond immediately. (I am not referring to actual medical emergencies or unique situations here). Try to practice approaching these questions, decisions, comments and opinions from a place of peace. Don’t let these things bring unneeded stress on you. Pregnancy and birth are not medical events. They are not meant to be treated like emergencies (referring to common, everyday decisions around pregnancy and birth, not actual emergencies. You will know the difference). Your body was made for this and knows what it is doing. There are special circumstances and situations where more in-depth care and quick responses are required, but most pregnancies are not this way. Don’t let your provider, aunt or friend make you think it is a high stress time. Don’t be afraid to ask your provider for all the risks, options and side effects of whatever may be proposed. You have every right to ALL of the information.

Find a calm response to questions that you don’t know how to answer or don’t care to answer. Something like: “Thank you for sharing your ideas, we are still working through what this looks like for us.” or “I appreciate hearing your thoughts that is something to think about.” Having some thought out responses in your back pocket can be helpful when you feel bombarded with advice or comments you may not have asked for.

Choosing prenatal testing. Like I stated above, your care provider will have some questions for you regarding which tests you would like to have done. Typically these are urine tests, blood tests or ultrasounds. A lot of these are only recommended and optional (even if your provider makes it seem like they aren’t. Don’t be afraid to ask questions). Some of the most common ones are:

• Pelvic exams (for STD testing and general checkup)

• Genetic screening test

• Ultrasounds

• Blood testing for certain immunities or blood factors

• Glucose test

• Group B strep swap

Depending on what state or country you are in, there mostly likely will be some testing that is required for your care provider to provide. Like I said before, don’t be afraid to ask questions. Your provider should be more than willing to take the time to answer any questions you may have on these topics. You should also have plenty of time to research these things at home. Within your first visit or two, this would be a great topic to bring up, if your provider doesn’t already. That way you can make a list of what your state/country requires and what is optional. You can then take that info and do your research to see what you are comfortable with.

Pregnancy Planning – 2nd trimester

You are officially 1/3 of your way through this pregnancy journey! For a lot of women, the 2nd trimester brings refreshed energy and excitement. After coming off of a couple months of tired and long days, typically this trimester is welcomed with open arms (and energy!). This isn’t the case for everyone, or sometimes the energy burst comes a little later, and that is ok. Hang in there and continue to listen to your body!

If your morning sickness is not going away and it is becoming a lot to handle, I would suggest talking with your provider about specific options that could help. There may be an option for anti-nausea medication or natural remedies that you may not have tried yet. Your care provider should be kept in the loop on how much you are vomiting (if at all), how much fluid you are able to keep down, food intake, etc. They should be able to give you some helpful options to make sure you and the baby are taken care of and are staying well hydrated.

At this point you may have had a couple of appointments with your care provider. Hopefully you have had the chance to ask your provider questions and you feel comfortable with the direction of your care. If you don’t feel this way, don’t be afraid to switch providers. It is most definitely not too late! You should be comfortable and feel heard in this time.

A few important things to focus on in this trimester:

• A baby registry

• Labor & Birth prep

• Preparing a simple space for the baby

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Beginning to think through a baby registry. Even if your baby shower or blessing event is several months away, starting a few months beforehand allows for you to take your time and step back from it all for a few days if needed, without feeling pressure. When trying to figure out what to buy, what to have on a registry and how much of certain items you need, I recommend starting with the basics.

A great book I always recommend to pregnant mamas around me is: Baby Bargains – Your baby registry cheat sheet by Denise and Alan Fields. This is a book that is updated every couple of years and goes through the basics of your needs for a baby, gives parent reviews and 4 or 5 options for each item. They give you the best eco-friendly option, the best affordable option, the organic option, etc. But it isn’t pages and pages of scrolling on Target or Amazon, not knowing where to begin. They narrow it way down, with simple, easy to read choices. I highly recommend. It is about $15 for a hard copy through Amazon or even cheaper if you buy it digitally. They have everything from cribs and mattresses, to high chairs, car seats and clothing.

You can also grab my “Baby Registry Checklist: All you need is the basics” and work your way through the list, one or two at a time and decide on what will work best for you. Creating a registry list can be overwhelming task when so many people are giving you mixed advice on different products. One family swears by a diaper pale and the other says they never used it.. So what do you do? Try to filter through some of those things with what you feel like will work best in your home, space, family dynamic and budget. If you are questioning if you need to purchase a baby item, chances are you could probably get away without having it. The good news is that we live in a day and age where you can find pretty much any product or item either in a store near you or Amazon Prime something within a matter of hours or days. My baby registry checklist guide helps filter through the necessities and the things that you can always purchase at a later time if you end up deciding it would be helpful.

My favorite things to have people add to their baby registry lists are support funds.

• If you are in a position where you cannot afford a birth doula, but you feel it would be helpful, try putting a fund on your registry for people to give towards the cost of one.

• Maybe you don’t have a ton of family or friends around and you are worried about the support in early postpartum. Raising $500 or $1000 to put towards having a postpartum doula come and be with you in the early weeks can be a game changer.

• Another fund option is a postpartum meal fund. This could allow you to find a local meal service in your area that delivers to you. Many major cities have meal prep services that provide healthy and nourishing meals, specifically for postpartum, but a regular meal service would work great too. If you were able to have a couple hundred dollars to put toward being able to order healthy meals for lunches or dinners in the first few weeks, this could take some weight off you and your partner.

Begin Labor & Birth Prep. At this point, you have likely decided which type of birth experience you are hoping for. Some woman want hospital births with epidurals, some want hospital births but no epidural. Some like the idea of a home birth or birth center but are nervous about the pain. Whatever you plan is, I suggest gathering recourses to help learn and prepare for the option you are hoping for.

Regardless of where you are giving birth, pain medication or none, childbirth education is a key part of preparing. It helps you understand why your body is doing what it is doing, why you may feel certain pressure or emotions during labor and how to prepare even practically (what items to prepare or bring with you). Most importantly, if done well, childbirth education will show you that birth is nothing to fear.

When thinking about how to prepare for birth, start here:

• A book or resource that will allow you to read POSITIVE birth stories. You will hear plenty of negative ones. You don’t need to immerse yourself in those any more then you already have to endure. My favorite for this is Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. You can find other options in my resource guide. These stories can bring ideas or things that spark  that you may not have known was an option, and could bring some excitement for you in this time of some uncertainty.

• Look into what childbirth education you would like. I offer a handful of guides, broken down into very affordable prices or a video course to allow you to get the education you need, at a very low cost. But if you are interested in an in-person course or a different online course, begin to prepare to purchase or attend. If you need to financially prepare, you can begin to look into what the education you would like, find out the cost, dates (if in person) and mark your calendars accordingly. Doing this now can help make sure it doesn’t get pushed to the back burner in the 3^rd trimester when it feels like time is creeping away.

Something to keep in mind: Hospitals often offer basic childbirth education classes, but typically they are more from the perspective of their own hospital rules, expectations and tendencies. So I would highly recommend getting some outside childbirth education in addition to the hospital class.

If you have specific worries or fears around childbirth, address those topics head on. For example, if you have worry around the pain, work on researching pain management options. Don’t get into the mindset that “it is what it is” and you just have to endure the pain. There are many ways to cope and feel confident going into labor. Preparation is key.

Do you want an epidural? Look at all your options. You should have choices in what doses and types you get. Do you still want to be able to move around? Most of the time you can have an epidural and still be free to move around, at least in bed.

Are you hoping for a med-free birth? There are many natural approaches and relaxation exercises that have helped women all over the world have medication free births they have loved. Some of these options include:

• Hypnobirthing
• Breathing exercises
• Water (hot showers, birth pools or bath tubs)
• Hip squeeze & massage techniques
• And more!

Dream about your birth atmosphere. Think about what makes you most comfortable and where you relax best. What qualities do those spaces have? Think about how to bring these things into your birth space.

• String of lights for low lighting (shutting off the overhead lights can be great)
• Speaker for music or audio
• Essential oils or similar for calming aroma
• Massage oil if you enjoy massage
• Although you can’t bring candles into a hospital, this is an option for home birth or you can use battery operated candles
• Comfort item or cards to help keep you focused (some women use pictures or birth card affirmations to help encourage them and keep them focused during contractions
• Warm showers or baths (avoid additives to your baths such as bath salts or scents, especially if your water has broken. Clean warm water is best.)

Look into pelvic floor work, breathing exercises and light movement or exercises to prepare your body for labor and birth.  This is not a necessity, but it can help. I would ask your care provider for suggestions on where to start. This is not a time to begin a new workout routine or start anything rigorous. But following a pelvic floor therapist or other birth related accounts that focus on this topic specifically can help give you ideas to begin at home, if purchasing a plan or guide to follow is not in your budget. My resource guide offers several social media accounts to follow that may be helpful to you. Remember, no movement should be painful. If something begins to hurt, stop right away and adjust or find something else to try. Do not try and push through.

Preparing a simple space for your baby. The second trimester often leaves women with a decent amount of energy and drive to plan, prepare and nest. This a great time to set up large items that you may feel is difficult to set up as the birth gets closer. For the nursery, you really don’t need to pack the room with furniture. The baby industry will try and sell you an item for everything, but I encourage you to start with the basics and you can always add to your space if you feel something would be helpful. You can download my baby registry checklist for more details on this, but here is an outline to focus on:

• Crib
• Dresser (a hip height dresser rather than a tall dresser is my favorite because then all you need is a changing pad on top and there is no need to purchase a changing table.)
• Rocking chair (although your bed and couch will be well used, so don’t see this as a must)
• Bassinet
• Car seat
• Stroller

I know we live in a time where social media is packed with picture perfect nurseries and baby items that all match perfectly to a desired neutral aesthetic. I am here to remind you, this is a last priority. If you have the time and desire, by all means, have FUN with this! But if you have to choose, I would much rather see families spend their money on postpartum help or meals to help take some weight off their plate in early postpartum, than all the perfect baby décor. If you can do both, that’s great! It is a fun thing to plan and create. But don’t get caught up in it. It’s not worth the stress. Your baby will have all they need, without the picture perfect nursery.

Check out my baby registry and needs checklist for more details and guidance this topic!

Pregnancy Planning – 3^rd Trimester

You are in the home stretch now! You get to meet your baby so soon!

This last trimester typically ends up being one that leaves parents feeling like they are running out of time as they feel behind on all there is left to do before baby arrives. Your mind begins to wander with all the things you would like to accomplish before baby gets here, tiredness sets in a bit as baby continues to grow, maybe your back or feet begin to ache more and sleeping becomes a bit more difficult.

It is ok mama.. take a breath and don’t let the weight of it all bring you down. The reason I put this guide together was to hopefully remind you over and over again, to focus on the important things and let the rest flow. I truly believe that preparing your body and mind for birth and postpartum as much as you know how, is far more helpful than having every last detail ready in the nursery. Also, as a reminder, your baby probably won’t be sleeping in their nursery or using it much in the first weeks or months anyways. So when you are home with your baby, sleeping on and off all day and night, you’ll have short pockets of time to spend in the nursery, resting and doing easy projects like putting together those pictures you wanted or folding all the 9-12 month size clothes.

Here is my recommendation for what to focus on in the 3^rd trimester:

• Starting any classes or courses for birth and postpartum
• Gather all items for your birth, and have them ready EARLY
• Create a postpartum plan for yourself
• Focus on getting the necessities ready for the first days and weeks for baby
• Consider having a prep day with a few close friends or family members
• Plan a weekend (or longer) where you do nothing but REST

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Classes or courses for birth and postpartum prep. If you have not begun already, I would recommend beginning any classes or courses to help prepare you for both birth and postpartum. One thing birth workers hear often is “I focused all my time on the birth and didn’t plan at all for postpartum”. Both are very important.

Birth & postpartum prep options to consider:

Childbirth education: I know I have mentioned this multiple times, but I can’t emphasize enough how great this can be. Learning why your body is doing what it is doing, pain and discomfort strategies and some things to expect can really help you feel a bit more comfortable going into your birth. This is something people almost never regret doing

Newborn care class: this can give you some great tips and tools to help prepare you for the first 24 hours, days and weeks with your new baby. I have a simple and easy to follow course for this on my website, or you can ask your care provider for any resources they may have.

Feeding preparations: Whether it be breastfeeding or formula feeding, having some basic knowledge going into your journey can really help. Even if it isn’t a full class or course you take, I recommend gather resources and reading up on whichever feeding method you are choosing.

Breastfeeding especially is a learning curve for both mom and baby. A lot of women expect it to “just work itself out” but the truth is, women who end up choosing to stop breastfeeding early on, do it within the first few weeks. This typically happens for one main reason: They don’t have support. And I don’t just mean someone right next to them walking them through it each day (although that’s beautiful if that is a possibility for you!). But someone to text or call when they are stuck or struggling, a book with helpful resources, someone to encourage them, someone to help them find a lactation consultant if needed, etc. Women need resources and help. Merely pushing through and motivating yourself is most likely not going to work. So set yourself up for success by gathering some of these tools. The La Leche League has a great book to have on hand for all things breastfeeding, or KellyMom.com is also a great resource. But I highly recommend having a trusted friend or care provider on speed dial who can help you when you run into new or difficult things.

A lot of this applies to formula feeding as well. Knowing what formula to choose, how to bottle feed so that baby doesn’t experience discomfort or gas, what to do if baby is colicky, how many ounces to feed at what age, are all common and valid questions. Having some resources on hand ahead of time can help avoid the last minute frustration and panic in the moment when its 2am and you are struggling to get answers that are helpful on the internet.

Gather items for birth and postpartum. Pack your hospital or birth center bag or prepare some items for your home birth. It is worth it to pack it ahead of time, even if its weeks before you will be delivering. It is one way to help you feel prepared mentally. Even if the nursery isn’t perfect or your house isn’t in perfect condition, at least you are ready to go when needed and nothing will have to be thrown together last minute. If there are some items you can’t quite pack yet, leave a small list on top of the bag so you know exactly what needs to be added (your pillow, water bottle, snacks). I have a packing checklist for free you can check out if you are curious what to pack.

Something that can easily be forgotten about is the postpartum practical items to prep. Set yourself up for success for the days following the birth of your little one. Some things to plan for would be:

• snacks and food easily accessible (you might be surprised how hungry you are in the days following, especially if breastfeeding)
• large water bottle (I recommend one in each room of the house you will be in – next to your bed and on the couch)
• perineum ice packs (you can make your own or grab some from your local Target or off Amazon to make things easier)
• herbal sitz bath supplies
• large comfortable underwear and/or adult diapers (nothing tight or constricting – size up)

Create a postpartum plan for yourself. I almost added this into the last section but I felt like it was necessary to keep separate. This is an area that gets put on the back burner as parents focus on the birth, and then it can make for a more difficult postpartum experience. A postpartum plan for yourself would be planning for 3 main important things, and making sure these things are both you and your partners top priorities.

• Sleep
• Food
• Support

Sleep seems like an obvious one, and many people will tell you all through pregnancy “oh good luck ever getting sleep again, it all goes to hell in a hand basket from here!”. Trust me; I heard that more times than I could count when pregnant with my daughter. Was it the least bit helpful? Not at all. But the reason I make this the first priority is because too many parents feel like they have to cater to friends or people who suddenly want to come meet your baby. Reality check: they are not your priority. Friends and family who you feel comfortable with, supported by and who will be intentional about taking care of you and your partner, those are the ones you have come by when you are ready!

But in the early days and weeks, it is so important for sleep to be your focus. Everyone says: “sleep when the baby sleeps” and you often see moms with babies who are several months old that laugh and say “yeah right!”. But I believe that phrase refers to the early days. If it’s 3 o’clock in the afternoon and you just woke up from a 2 hour nap with your baby.. PERFECT! Do not, I repeat, do not try and get all the things done during the day. Sleep – your body and mind need it. Remember that you will have a dinner plate sized wound inside of you that your body is working hard to heal. It makes it a lot harder if you are up and moving all the time. Your baby needs you to sleep so that you can function to the best of your ability during this time. Do not worry about grocery shopping, cleaning the dishes or doing the laundry. This is what your support people are for.

Stay in your pjs all day, binge a new tv show or you favorite movies, take long relaxing showers or baths (your baby can join you – just be sure your partner is near by to help if needed) and forget the to-do list. Creating this as your mindset and plan BEFORE you get into the thick of it can be helpful. Go into postpartum with this as your expectation. Clear your schedule, plan to do nothing and don’t agree to letting just anyone “drop by” after the baby is born, even if they mean it with the best of intentions. This space is meant for you, your partner and baby.

Food is something we often don’t have to think too much about before we have a baby around. We plan our meals out for the week, shop, set aside time to cook or prep without hesitation most of the time. Once baby comes along and you are feeling quite tired and physically sore, cooking becomes a heavy weight to take on for both you and your partner. Yet, this time is beyond critical for you to be getting nourishing and quality meals. So begin to think through what your plan is for the first days and weeks postpartum are. Often, people will prepare freezer meals that can be thawed and baked in the same day, with no other preparations needed. If you have a large group of people around you, either from a friend group or church family, a meal train might be an idea too. This can be great to receive meals for a few weeks every day or every other day, with enough for leftovers. If you want to avoid everyone coming into the house, arrange for people to leave the meal on the porch in a cooler or bag, unless you choose to invite them in. If you don’t have a lot of family or friends near by, consider adding to your registry a meal fund (if this is not something you can pay for as you go). I talked a little about this already, but using these funds towards a local meal prep/delivery service to bring fresh meals.

Support people are a gift. But sometimes this is hard for mothers to accept help. Some are the type where they are usually the ones helping and it feels strange to be on the other end. Others feel inadequate when they end up coming to the point of needing help. Please know whatever your feelings are toward this, try and work through it now. Get yourself to a point of expecting to reach out and receive help.  You are not a bad mom or doing anything wrong simply because you need to reach out for help. When we don’t reach out, we end up usually doing ourselves a disservice.

I remember in my early postpartum days, I would be struggling with something and after racking my brain trying to figure it out on my own I would reach out to a friend or my midwife. They would give a suggestion or tip that would seem so obvious, yet in my sleepy and emotional state, the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind.

Talk to your partner and plan some of these things now so that it leaves less question and stress once baby is here. The last thing you need in postpartum is confusion and frustration over simple things that could be addressed early on:

• Who are you comfortable with having over in early postpartum? Think about who you would feel ok seeing you in one of your most vulnerable and raw states. Who isn’t going to be scared by a few tears, messy hair or a house that hasn’t been touched? Who is going to come in and load your dishwasher for you, bring food, fold your laundry or sweep your floors? Those are your people. Establishing who you are comfortable with and more importantly who are you NOT comfortable with, can make it easier to filter through the texts and requests to come see the baby. Work on a response to share with people when you are not ready for them to come over. It can be something as simple as “Thank you so much for your support, we can’t wait for you to meet our little one, but right now we are focusing on resting and keeping our schedule light. We would love for you to come over in another week or two.”

• Think through some tasks around your house that will be essential to keeping a functioning house. Laundry and dishes are two of the main ones, for my house at least. If someone comes over and asks “how can I help”, try to give them easy tasks like this to take some of the weight off your plate. Think about the things for you personally that you really would like to have done and feel important to you to have accomplished. Let this be the only things you are your partner focus on around the house and agree to let the rest go for now.

• Who are your people for when you have specific questions about your baby, your healing or feeding? Do you have a small handful of other moms, care providers (that you can get ahold of on a whim) or other professionals that you can keep in your back pocket? This is also a great way for a dad to help and get involved in the moment. If you have a list of people that you know may be of help, your partner can gently remind you in the midst of tears or frustrations that you have some people who may be good to reach out to.

Make it a point to surround yourself with a solid postpartum plan. It can go a long way, versus trying to address some of these head on when you’re in the middle of it. You will have enough new things to navigate, having some plans already in place can help.

Focus on getting ready only the necessities for the first few days and weeks postpartum for you and your baby. Too many times I have seen moms stressed about washing and putting away all of their new clothing and items for the baby, all the way up until 12 or 18 months. It is a blessing that we often get lots of clothes and items from our baby showers or blessing events but don’t try and overwhelm yourself with organizing all of those things before the baby gets here.

Focus on washing and preparing a few main things for baby:

• Onesies & outfits for newborn-3 months
• Diapers & wipes stocked for the first month
• Blankets, sheets, swaddles and burp clothes
• Bottles (for formula feeding, have a decent amount sanitized and ready so that you can avoid having to wash one in the middle of the night just to feed baby)

Focus on preparing a few main items for mom:

• Extra set of sheets for the bed, ready to be changed quickly and easily
• Snacks, meals and water bottles
• Postpartum healing items
• Comfortable sleepwear (with easy access for nursing babies)

Prep day with a few friends or family. I love recommending to moms to have a day, usually within a couple weeks of your due date, to have a few family members or close friends come over and help you accomplish some last minute tasks. Turn this into something fun – make some food, bake cookies and enjoy each other companies. Let them encourage you and help you feel more prepared for your little ones arrival.

Things to consider having them help with:

• Last minute things to be washed or folded
• Deep clean of your house (one last deep clean before baby arrives can leave you feeling like you can breathe a bit and not worry about rushing back to cleaning after baby gets here)
• Prep freezer meals
• Set up postpartum items for easy access

A weekend or week of FULL rest. I realize if you are working, this may not be something you can do to the degree you may like. But look at your calendar, and within a few weeks of your due date, plan to take an entire weekend (if you work) or several days if possible, to do things that bring you joy and refreshment. I believe that too often moms end up rolling into their birth after what feels like they just ran a marathon trying to get everything done. And then they run another marathon while giving birth! Sounds exhausting right? Yeah.

So be very intentional about setting aside space before the birth of your baby. Space to do things you love. Not clean, not catch up on all the things you haven’t done. Resist those urges, to spend time with your partner. Plan a date night. If you love cooking or baking, make something you enjoy and maybe wouldn’t typically have time for. Watch movies until midnight and then sleep in until 10am. Go for a walk or a light hike near by. Whatever it is that sounds refreshing and peaceful to you, do those things for as long as you can. If a weekend is all you can swing, great, but make the most of that time! It can do wonders for our soul and even our bodies as they prepare to give birth.